Unable To Surrender
by kakashidiot
Summary: Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto. Soutetsu's POV of Fight Till the End. HijiSou. Yaoi! Soutetsu sees more to the physical it's a clash of wits and power.


_**I do not own Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto.**_

_**Dedicated to: Akuma-sama, who wanted something from Sou-chan's POV**_

_**Warnings: YAOI. HijiSou, implied EnoSou!!!!**_

**_READ AND REVIEW! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!_**

italics: Soutetsu's POV

-----------

**Unable to Surrender**

I was expecting him. I was expecting him sooner.

_Well... when it comes to Hijikata... sometimes... _

It's exciting to wonder how things will turn out.

Standing on the edge of uncertainty. It's because of him - I knew it when I first saw him. That presence - the strength in his eyes - and shoulders. Suddenly, I knew -

_Here, here is a perfect character for my play... for THE play. _

Perfect because he not only strong, charismatic and handsome, but also because, when I talked to him - when he challenged me - and we stood there - my hand on his wrist, on his chest...

Feeling his warmth and closeness... I couldn't help but smile.

_How perverse you are, Hijikata - _

To bring that smile inside. That sense of excitement - of danger...

It was there again, when he stormed into my room, banging the door of my little cabin room shut. He was angry. Fuming. No doubt over some new problem, new disaster... perhaps, something within the Shinsengumi. But no...

_Perhaps - _

Here I am - smiling again...

_so perverse, Hijikata-kun... _

Perhaps, it's me?

Yes. If your eyes were blades, no doubt I would be dead by now. I can feel the intensity of your dark eyes boring into my back, as the silence gets heavier and heavier. Then it shifts -

Yes, I can feel your presence - and the weight of your gaze -

It's moving now over the stark emptiness of the small room - the neat dressing table and mirror. The small chest with a few clothes and scrolls laid beneath it...To the bed, its blue covers smooth and straight - and then back to me.

I carefully finish the sentence, taking the time to finish the kanji in my most perfect hand.

The waiting is annoying him. And that is pleasing.

I can't help it - the corner of my mouth quirks up at the thought of the Shinsengumi leader waiting for a mere playwright...

The moment is shortlived. Striding over, he slams his hand down on the table, rattling the papers, the scrolls and the ink. I'm already setting aside the brush, waiting for the ink to finish drying, then, deftly rolling up the play.

"How can I be of service?" I ask him smoothly.  
He wavers.

Perhaps it's the silence of the room. The quality of that quietness.

Perhaps he is suddenly realizing how close we are. Again.

For so long we had been seperate, busy with our duties: his management of the Shinsengumi, my labor at writing and documenting for Enomoto-sama...

"It's Akidzuki, isn't it?"  
His frown deepens.  
"You are alright with that? Watching a friend die?"

For a moment, I see the boy's blue eyes as he passes me. The shock. And the pain.

"Friend? He was doing his duty, I am doing mine: and so, our paths have crossed. He has played a part, he will play a part but ultimately -"

We're standing now, as I move away to slide the scrolls into the chest beside my maroon suit. It's been washed, pressed and folded away neatly. For tomorrow.

For now... I'm aware of his eyes on me, as I bend over. He's thinking of what lies between us - nothing but a flimsy kimono...

There is something in his voice. Beneath the vehemence...

_What are you hiding, Hiji-kun? Tell me... you can hide nothing... This is one battle, I will not lose... _

"So that's all he was to you? A pawn? Just as the girl is? As the troupe is?"

_As am I? Is that it then? _

"I never pegged you for the jealous type," I murmur.

He looks so angry - _should I be afraid _, I wonder... That his authority and character be questioned by a mere civilian!

_You don't know... Hiji-kun... _

"I apologize, Hijikata-sama," the lie rolls smoothly off my lips, with a smile.

_Thank you for the entertainment... _

But then -

He suprised me - leaning forward, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me close - into a hard, fast kiss which left us breathless.

_So it is desire then? _

Hiji-kun... I shouldn't laugh... but... sometimes, I must say... you make it worthwhile... I'm sure you'd be furious to know that... but then, you'd never understand...

The back of my neck, my hair, my head is held close in another kiss - his tongue skirting my lips. I nip him in a return warning. He only chuckles deep in his throat - it vibrates under my hand which is trapped now between us on his chest.

But now I understand.

This too is a role I can play.

And when he forces me back onto the bed, his leg between mine, pinning me down, I finally let him in. The lure and the chase and the conquest. These steps I understand all too well.

I wrote them myself. On that day I sat there at the gathering - and watched him stand and protest... and then, later, seek me out. When he wrote his name on that list -

_Hiji-kun, did you know? You signed up for another part in the play. Would it make you happy to know this is my most favorite segment? The unseen union - the unknown scene where - _

He's pushing down on me already, his hard length pressed hard against my thighs and chest - hands still on my shoulders, as if to make sure I can never leave.

Ha. I smiled under his lips, and take the offensive, hands moving up to his shoulders. Ready to turn him over anytime I chose to.

_After all, you aren't the only one who's about to have some enjoyment, Hiji-kun. _

And here, there is no suprise, as I press back - enjoying the firm lips on top of mine - and I venture past his teeth to find that particular taste of Hijikata-sama. It brings forth another chuckle on his part -

As if to say, "Oho, so the little playwright is going to play tough?"

My tongue tells him... "What do you expect, Hijikata-KUN?"

I pull back, raising myself up on my elbows, and, staring at his dark eyes, ask dryly, "Eggs again, Hijikata-san?"  
He smiles in return.  
"So formal!" Then pushes me back onto the pillows. I notice idly that the sheets are now rumpled. "And what's wrong with eggs? Or does the author in you demand... something more romantic?"  
That makes me grunt.

_Don't start me on the issue of reality and illusion, Hijikata-kun. Don't make me feel so old... _

He leaves it at that - and starts the kissing again. And then moves away from my mouth, finding that sensitive spot just under the ear - and I can't help but gasp. His tongue feels rough against my skin - and the soft nip of hard teeth leaves a tingling sensation that travels lower to my toes.

_How could you know... _

Yes... This is my most favorite scene ... the one where...

And then, I pay attention to him - finding those spots that make him respond, hardening him, building his heat - and my hands, pressing upward, attempt to roll him over.

_Let me play with you, Hijikata-kun... _

But he's resisting. It makes me smile even wider.

_Come, let us fight, Hijikata-sama. Let us see - _

His left hand moves quickly - finding mine, pinning them above my head, his right pushing my kimono open wider, his mouth following his finger tips... Part instinct, part desire, my back arches - my body pressing closer to his. The friction of our clothes - there's so much between us...

And he responds - beautifully. Enough for me to free my hands, and rip open his shirt, revealing his hard muscled chest - and he is speechless as I lean upward to place careful kisses along his collar bone -

The muscles in his belly are jumping as one of my hands slides even lower. As he moans into my ear, his hands steal inside my kimono to skirt the edges of my underclothing - and then inside... further... to find that secret place.

"You're quivering..." he rumbles into my ear, his fingers busily filling me.

And even though I know how and why we are here, together on this ship - although I know what we all fight for... some things...

_Some things.  
You.  
Hijikata-sama.  
Some things can still suprise one. _

We sit there, suddenly aware how odd this must be. Almost fully clothed. Tangled in each other's laps... formal... yet... so intimate. Like those stolen glances at our first meeting...

"So you think we're equal, Ibaragi-KUN?" he murmurs into my ear.  
I smile crookedly in response, my hand tightening - his eyes widen as he moans.

_Fight, Hiji-kun... _

Make this endless war a worthy one.


End file.
